Dear Abby

can't remember where i first read this from
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Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'Just some friends from work, you don't know them.'

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I
noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed

Haha.

hahaha.

Merdeka Eve Rave

Im sure most of you will be glad to know that this comin thursday, merdeka eve, there will be a massive rave at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach. Acts include Cosmic Gate, Thrillseekers and Drum Connection. Ticket prices start at RM 53 all the way to RM 153. So hurry if you wanna be raving to the sound of 50 years of freedom!

http://www.mynationkl.com/
http://www.axcess.com.my/eventdetail.asp?id=5518737005829781015795196547248908016570

Eye On Malaysia

Okay. One day we all seriously have to go up this thing. Supposedly, its going to be there for this year only. 50th Year Anniversary, Visit Malaysia Year promotion.

Chuck Norris Facts

because this is just absolutely funny shit....

- Gun's don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names of his left and right leg.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- When Chuck Norris does pushups, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- In Pamplona, Spain, people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect-Four in three moves.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

omg i need a break to laugh. more to come soon...

Cheers!

Lampard Going Down

mourinho looks un-satisfied haha.

sounds like something daniel would say.
" thats just wrong..."

Garfield

This one's hilarious.

Calvin & Hobbes

Crazy Fans : Interesting Read

A father whose daughter has been obsessed with pop star Andy Lau for 13 years committed suicide in Hong Kong one day after he managed to help his daughter meet her idol.
The 68-year old father was a retired middle school teacher earning a pension of 1900 yuan per month (~US$230) while the mother was unable to work due to her poor health. They had even sold their only apartment in order for them to afford a trip to Hong Kong.
Yang Lijuan, the daughter, finally met Lau this past week after the family traveled from their home in China’s Lanzhou city. The daughter joined Lau’s fan club and took some pictures with the star on Sunday, but the father still felt unhappy with the meeting. He complained that Lau should have spent more private time and with his daughter, and then threatened his life if the star didn’t.

As a result, the family had no money left after their trip to Hong Kong and had to stay in a 24-hour fast food restaurant for the night. The next day, the 54-year-old wife woke up and noticed her husband was missing then found a letter saying that he hoped the Hong Kong government could take care of his family for him.
In the 12-page suicide note, the father blamed Lau for everything: “My family was reduced to poverty because of you… and you will be cursed and despised for your wrongdoing. You should meet my daughter, give her an autograph and save her life as you are the only one who can touch her heart.”
In previous reports, Yang mentioned how he was planning to sell his kidney for his daughter’s trip to see Lau in Hong Kong - her third trip to the city.
The father died by jumping into Salisbury Sea in Kowloon where his body was later found.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phenoix (2007)

Appaling. Absolutely horrendous. In my honest opinion, the most terrible Harry Potter book adaptation to date. Out of 5 stars, I'd give it negative infinity if there's such a number. But then again, just my opinion. The book itself is 766 pages long and the movie was only 2 hours and 8 mins long? What the fuck's up with that? For an overzealous fan such as myself, I wouldn't have minded sitting down for an hour longer. Each Lord of the Rings book was shorter, yet each movie was around/nearly three hours long. At least do justice to the book for fuck's sake. I don't know if i should be pissed at the screen writers or the director. Possibly both but less on the director. I wanna castrate their balls, put it on a stick, let it freeze in ice before smashing it up.

The movie itself seemed rushed and really lacked depth or a sense of direction in it. It just moved from one scene to another to another to another. And what's up with the newspaper scene where they just skip out little scene's that could have made the movie a lot more enjoyable. Urgghh! I've got so much pent up frustration and anger against this movie, its annoying me. For those who haven't read the book yet watched the movie, they might have thought that the movie was alright. For those who read the book, who can say they're fully 100% satisfied with the movie? The movie had potential but it let down. I can only say that the first and possibly the second movie's were commendable adaptations. The next one's a goner as I don't see how they can make it movie worthy. It'll just be all about Harry and Dumbledore learning about Voldermort's past. Maybe they'll add the small scenes in the book that made it rich in detail. Who knows. Here's hoping that the last movie will be great. The book was beautifully written.

Probably, the only two things worth mentioning about this movie are these two.

Luna Lovegood (not sure what her real name is)

Dolores Umbridge (again, not sure what her real name is)

we met ian's twin at uvnation

haha, cheers.