Chuck Norris Facts

because this is just absolutely funny shit....

- Gun's don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names of his left and right leg.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- When Chuck Norris does pushups, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- In Pamplona, Spain, people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect-Four in three moves.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

omg i need a break to laugh. more to come soon...

Cheers!